...and the clock ticks.

Gonna get Inked!

2007-11-14T19:37:00.000+11:00

After much thought.

I have decided to get a tattoo for my 30th, just a little one, somewhere that ONLY special people would get to see...

Shall say NO MORE because it's just idea at the moment...

But I will give you a clue:

"Sick 'em Rex!"

Spank spank

2007-10-25T12:26:00.000+10:00

Yes, I've been very naughty and haven't written in this for WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long!

Things that have happened...

M is out of the picture.. apparently I was too young for him... by the end of the week I'd forgotten about him (ooh yeah he was the one alright LOL)
I'm off my meds... WOOHOO!!!
I went to the snow, and touched REAL SNOW
I started buying Cosmo Mag... damn you!!!
I'm BLONDE now (so I DID do the 'colour my hair' thing again!)
I'm very happy that winter is over
Apparently I have the BEST LEGS in the universe
DEFINITELY all men think with their brains... the two WALNUT sizes ones
I'm peeved that I have a cold
I have started planning for the BIGGEST 30th birthday bash!

FUCK FUCK FUCK...

2007-06-22T08:35:00.000+10:00

Disclaimer: While this piece is based on actual events it is for entertainment purposes only and contains extreme exaggerations tantamount to a gross misrepresentation of the truth... but hey, it's bloody hilarious!!!

Every time I turn around the little shits of kids are getting into something else, ruining something, devouring something, or rather HALF devouring something, and throwing the rest on the floor or smooshing it into the couch. I've run out of milk and bread (we went through a loaf and 3L of milk in less than 24 hours) I have badly chipped red nails and no nail polish remover, no coffee in the house, and no petrol in the car, and now I LOSE MY WALLET, so I can't put petrol in the car to go to the shop to get the things I need and the kids are STILL destroying everything in my house INCLUDING the final shreds of my sanity.

AND to top it all off my period arrives three days early so I can't even forget my shitty day by having hot sex with my new man after the kids get picked up.

[insert one million and one evil smileys here]

How many evil smileys can I put before the forum blows up???

PS. I did eventually find my wallet, where I'd put it out of reach of the kids, but now it's too late to go shopping, because I need to get this house looking vaguely better than the chimpanzee house after they've been throwing poo at each other all day.

Actually, am I allowed to throw poo at my children and blame darwin's theory of evolution???

Rumours and Reputation

2007-06-16T10:16:00.000+10:00

Right... so from what I can tell B can't keep his mouth shut about us sleeping together.

And some of his friends have decided I am that nasty word starting with the letter 'S' ...mainly his FEMALE friends... do thay have that low an opinion of B that only an S would sleep with him?? Or perhaps they are jealous that I have so many male admirers. I suppose every fortnight since the end of january I have had a dance partner... (that's dancing on the dance floor, not horizontal folk dancing by the way which I think is where some people might have got their stories mixed up LOL)

Either way, I have just had someone stand up for me (as this stuff is always spoken about when the subject isn't there to defent herself) and if anyone is willing to make assumptions about me without actually getting to know me first then they are not the type of person I want to be friends with or associate with.

New Prospects

2007-06-16T10:15:00.000+10:00

Taking my time on this one. Not giving too much away.

The Final SItuation With B

2007-06-16T10:09:00.000+10:00

Basically everything is cool now.

After our weekend away I got a message asking ot meet for coffee, just a friendly chat, and spent two hours chatting... and yes I AM over him entirely.

We are able to accept what happened between us, it's not like it never happened, we can joke about it now.

And he knows I'm not taking any of his shit, he rarely puts on that stupid Tony Montana accent around me and that if he's crapping on too much that I WILL tell him to shut the fuck up!!

Girls Weekend Away #1

2007-06-16T09:58:00.000+10:00

I'm going to do this one in a few instalments because it was such a full weekend, I could fill a whole novel about it all LOL

I drove ever so carefully to pick up Net, I didn't want any last minute accident ruining our weekend, as we'd spent so long planning...

When I pick Net up she was a mess. She had never had much freedom and independence as a kid having had a very strict italian upbringing, so this weekend away was a huge thing for her.

So hugs were given and soon we were on our way to Al's house. Once again, me being extremely careful driving. SO we made it in one piece and got everything packed into Al's car and programmed our destination into her GPS Navi thing.

On the road for an hour and a half, it still didn't seem real, we were almost speechless the whole way, and occasionally giggling like school girls.

Got a call from Al's Hubby saying he was sorry for being such a grumpy bastard (aren't they ALWAYS grumpy bastards!)

So we found our holiday house thanks to the nice lady on the GPS Navi thing and were shown through, the most gorgeous house... yet STILL seemed surreal. Particularly when we settled down for a coffee and a chat with bowls of munchies and DIDN'T have grubby chubby fingers stuck in there LOL

Finger Pointing

2007-06-16T09:48:00.000+10:00

It seems that some people in our group are unhappy and feel left out.

Of course it's OUR fault... it's all because Net and I go and talk to OTHER people and don't sit on our arses all night... it's all because we're thin and the guys talk to us... out of all twelve people that end up sitting at our table it's OUR fault...

Here's the thing...

You can only rely on other people SO MUCH for your own happiness.

At a certain point, and ULTIMATELY you have to be responsible for you own happiness, because if you give other people the power to make you happy, then they also have the powr to make you UNHAPPY, and that's not a good position to be in.

Playing Catch Up

2007-06-16T09:40:00.000+10:00

OK OK OK... I have been bad... erm... LAZY... and not posting in my blog.

Now I've got so much to catch up on it seems like I'll never get it done, but I got to start somewhere right?

Alrighty.

An itemised list of what I have to update you about:

Finger pointing
Our girls weekend away
The final situation with B
New prospects
Rumours and reputation
Future plans
1st RE-Birthday

One by one I will get through them :-D

Weight gain #1

2007-05-16T18:37:00.000+10:00

Have gained 1.3 kg in two weeks :-D

Now weighing in at 49.5kg, have almost regained the weight I lost.

A Mothersday Message...

2007-05-16T18:11:00.000+10:00

To any Mums who didn't get the Mothers Day they had hoped for...

You are worth a lifetime of 'happy mothers days' EVERY day of the year.

You are strong women... you carried and birthed (C-Secs count too) your babies, and endured sleepless nights and leaky boobs and late night bottle cleaning

You've been weed on, pooed on, snotted and spewed on.

You do piles of washing every week, cook countless dinners for an often unappreciative 'clientele' and you still get up the next day and do it all again.

You work a 24 hour a day, seven day a week job, without XMas bonuses, without paid leave, or sick leave.

You do the job no-one else will.

All Mums should do something JUST for YOURSELF before the end of the week, not because it was mothers day, not because your hubby didn't do anything, but because you are STILL women, and you DESERVE to treat yourselves with the utmost respect, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

The fat lady has sung...

2007-05-06T14:06:00.000+10:00

Sorry, I haven't put on 200Kg in the last few days LOL

No, it's about B again.

I start getting messages asking to go for coffee, and then messages telling me he's being a bad bad boy, and his name is Johnny (Walker), sitting alone in his room drinking scotch and planning to wipe himself out at Karaoke, and I start to figure he's a lost cause.

He ignores my messages that he should be around people NOT by himself, ignores messages that he deserves to treat himself better than that, and that seven days without drinking is a good start, and I'm well and truly half way to figuring he's a lost cause.

Then I watch him slowly destroy himself through his deep and meaningful relationship with Johnny, in his words, "sometimes the only thing that makes me feel good about myself," and I have TOTALLY figured out he's a lost cause.

So now I just want to shout from the rooftops that my temporary insanity is officially OVER.

I have seen the light, and can't be fucked hanging onto false hopes anymore, nobody is worth THAT much. (Yeah, I knew that anyway, but hope is a nice thing to have, for a while at least)

Just have to arrange coffee to clear up the loose ends and I'm then finally OVER it... not in an angry "I HATE all men, they are just bastards" way, or in a sad "I'm so UPSET I'm never falling for anyone again" way, but in a cool, calm, collected "He's really just not worth it, and I don't need his shit" kind of way.

*doing a happy dance*

Or in the words of some big fancy movie "Thankyou for curing my rediculous obsession with love!" nah wait, take that back, strike the LOVE bit...

"Thankyou for curing my rediculous obsession with you!"

Like I've said before... It's good being me :D

Kidfree... finally!

2007-05-04T18:41:00.000+10:00

Exhub picked the boys up yesterday evening.

And I'm starting to sleep better already. Hmm, funny thing that!

Got some practice in for karaoke today, and did the 'drop everything and come to the rescue' thing for one of my girlfriends today.

And I tell you what, I have worked out WHY I ain't ready for relationship stuff yet...

There is so much crap one has to put up with, way too much give and take, and I just DO NOT have space for that. Some people (like B) are scared of being hurt, but not me, I know I'll get over it, and life's too short to worry about getting your feelings hurt, or your heart broken, life is there to be lived!!!

You have to put yourself on the line sometimes because you never know what you might find.

It ain't over til the fat lady sings...

2007-05-02T15:25:00.000+10:00

Well I'm singing, but I definitely ain't fat!!

I'm on a weight gain kick again, I've dropped back down a couple of kilos, so need to concentrate on getting it back up, trying to gain about seven kilos this time, so I have even more to work with if something happens like getting sick.

I'm eating LOTS of eggs for protien, and lots of milk.

Trying to snack heaps during the day.

I was amazed at home much some people eat. Someone showed us a picture of what they would eat as a normal meal, and it was HUGE... no wonder so many people are overweight, they get used to shovelling so much food in their mouths. Obviously not everyone is like this, but common sense would look at the volume of food they eat in a day and get nauseous LOL

I also need to do a bit of regular exercise, not only to keep my fitness up, but also to help me sleep.

Going to try to get out for a walk this evening with the boys.

Insomnia...

2007-05-02T15:12:00.000+10:00

I haven't been sleeping very well lately. For the past month really.

It's one of those circular things, a perpetual motion thing.

I have a busy mind, and can't turn it off, so I can't sleep, and because I can't sleep my mind races even more so I can't sleep etc etc etc.

Getting some really irrational thoughts going through my head, totally rediculous ideas going round and round, chasing its tail, which is OK, but I am starting to look like a raving lunatic to everyone, particularly those who get odd SMSs at 1:30 in the AM.

Met with my psychologist today and have some strategies to put in place to deal with it all.

It's annoying because other than the insomnia and racing thoughts that come with it, i'm feeling really good about everything (except the pre-menstrals of course, which came a day early this month) I feel very positive about everything in my life at the moment.

Doing the 'housewife' thing...

2007-04-29T12:57:00.000+10:00

I'm going to a tupperware party today!!!

Yes, the thing that housewives around the globe have been having tea cakes over for decades.

I definitely won't be buying anything because once again I am broke, but it's an opportunity for me to get to know some other mums and for the kids to get out and play. Particularly considering that fact that weve been cooped up inside all weekend so far, what with the weather and tantrums and nap times.

So, I'm getting out of the house, and braving one of those social situations I dread, all for the sake of some gossip and adult interaction.

Some very good advice...

2007-04-28T11:58:00.000+10:00

Regarding the latest development with B.

Just be a friend, particularly while he's struggling to stop drinking. I have enough stress with my OWN problems without having to deal with other people's.

He's probably going to go through some serious mood/character changes which I don't need to be involved in.

So just be a friend, plain and simple. I'm in no rush to get into anything ANYWAY!!!

If after all this there's still something 'there' between us...

...then we see what happens.

What a great night and more suprises...

2007-04-27T15:27:00.000+10:00

Last night we all went out to karaoke.

It was a bit of an impromptu night, and one that normally wouldn't happen (being a weeknight), except that Net was in the Semis for a comp.

This was something not to be missed, so considering exhub is away I organised a babysitter, girls got hubbies to stay at home with the kids, and K ducked out between breastfeeds.

We also managed to drum up support from RSL regulars, between our two groups we made up about 80% of the clientele for the night!!

The RSL regulars included both B and G which I did expect and, I think, handled quite well.

One point saw the two of them outside talking in each others ears... was SO very tempted to go out, put my arms around them both and ask what or who they were talking about...

...but I'm not quite that brash!!

I asked B about the dare (NO elvis, and he gets free reign on MY songs) and he said it was very tempting, but I think the thought of NO elvis scares the bajesus out of him LOL.

Net, Al and I sat and had coffee with B afterwards...

Boy oh boy, am I in BIG trouble: He's made the decision to dry out.

See, the MAIN thing that meant I could take it or leave it with B was the drinking problem. Without that he becomes so much more desirable.

I don't think I've ever WANTED someone and NOT been able to have them.

So yes... I am in BIG trouble!!!

The unexpected addition, part X

2007-04-26T20:28:00.000+10:00

Ok, today I finally rang and made the appiontment to see a doctor at the women's health centre about getting an IUD.

The first appt they take measurements, and tests etc, and the second is when they insert it.

You know, I was SO proud of myself for phoning, I actually CRIED after I hung up the phone.

But I am premenstral after all!!

A clarification #3

2007-04-25T16:26:00.000+10:00

He was told where to shove it by the way ;-)

Can men and women be just friends?

2007-04-25T16:13:00.000+10:00

I'm seriously thinking NOT!!!

Today I decided to break the news to G that I wasn't interested. Did the usual spiel: I'm not interested in a relationship, just want to be friends etc etc etc.

His reply???

"So does that mean passion or affection is out of the question? We could be fuck buddies if you like?"

Charming!!!

SO even when they worship the ground you walk on, men STILL only have one thing on their mind LOL

...and that's why I don't think men and women can ever be just friends. One way or another, one party often ends up wanting more, whether it be physically, emotionally, or both.

Mum and Dad have given up telling me to find a retired police inspector, now they're telling me to just find a nice gay man to be friends with!

Do I have a sign on my head?

2007-04-24T20:46:00.000+10:00

Honestly sometimes I wonder.

I already have a new admirer, and sometimes I do feel like I have a sign on my head saying "Get it here" or something along those lines.

Unfortunately it appears they've gone from one extreme to the other. Have gone from an alcoholic (non-smoker) who never really gave a crap to one who is a chain smoker and is just about wanting to set up home with picket fences already, and we've only known each other for ten days...

Have been trying to let him down gently, keep dropping lots of non-committal comments.

Might have to cut the ties entirely.

Although Mum and Dad would be pleased to hear he's a Detective Senior Sargeant in the police force...

Not retired yet though LOL

Idol stuff... SONG CHOICE

2007-04-24T20:42:00.000+10:00

Hmm, I have to pick what song I'm gonna sing LOL

I'm a little teapot maybe, if I want to get in the "OMG how embarrassing are these people" category?

not happy

2007-04-24T20:36:00.000+10:00

I'm premenstral again :-(

Assuming assumptions...

2007-04-24T20:29:00.000+10:00

I had a great chat with B on Saturday night, and it appears there were too many assumptions made on both of our parts.

and you know what they say "when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME"

So all is forgiven, but I think I might have got him back offside when I (drunkenly) told him to piss off (repeatedly) when we were trying to get in the car and he wouldn't just go and leave us alone.

Thing is, it was tongue in cheek, but no-one other than me would stand up to him and say it LOL he just wouldn't shut the hell up!

But I won't assume anything..

Our girly/karaoke weekend away :-D

2007-04-17T18:04:00.000+10:00

The house we're renting for the weekend has now been booked :-D

And all four of us can go for the two nights. We're all looking forward to it so much.

A whole weekend dedicated to Karaoke and girly stuff like clothes, shopping, movies and gossip LOL

It's amazing what being jacked up can do for you!

2007-04-17T17:42:00.000+10:00

After feeling so crappy about how B had treated me, I desperately needed some cheering up.

And lovely Al came to the rescue. "Get ass over here, we having BBQ for lunch, stay as long as you like." were her exact words!

After lunch and some 'stupid bloody arrogant men' talk, Al's hubby set up the karaoke for us, so we could relieve some stress by way of belting out a few tunes.

I really let go, and discovered I have a HUGE voice! It was just hiding deep inside me, waiting to be pissed off enough about something, to get out and greet the world.

The weekend just gone we went to a new place for karaoke and I belted out 'Dancing in the Street' of which I only did one run through the day before, and I totally kicked arse :-D

Also did 'What About Me' great song to belt out, am defnitely going to sing it at RSL.

I think I will take a few people by suprise, as I have always had a very mousy voice.

Why it's good to be me...

2007-04-15T12:58:00.000+10:00

Thursday night I finally put my foot down and told B he had to work out exactly what he wanted from me. I'd told him in plain simple words what I wanted, but he never did the same for me.

So friday last week we called it off for good.

Then the Saturday night at karaoke, he was a COMPLETE prick. My diary had something to this effect...

"The pathetic little man with the drinking problem and split personalities last night added 'whore' to his repertoire."

Yes, I was being very harsh at the time, but I was also really hurt at the time!!

I spent about 36 hours as a puddle on the floor, but by the time 48 hours had rolled around I was well and truly over it, and ready and raring to hit the ground running again :-D

The joys of being an Aquarian, you get over thing VERY quickly, and can't hold a grudge against people, so a few days ago I messaged him and apologised for being a bitch (which I was), said it's all water under the bridge, and so now I have a clear conscience and there doesn't have to be any animosity between us.

I feel at peace with the world!

Apologies...

2007-04-15T12:49:00.000+10:00

Been AWOL this week.

Lots happening.

Will try to catch up during the week :-D

My cynical side coming out at Karaoke.

2007-04-06T14:52:00.000+10:00

Been umming and ahhing over what songs to sing Saturday night, have finally decided on two Bobbie Gentry songs. 'Ode to Billie Joe' and 'I'll never fall in love again'. My cynical streak strikes again. LOL!

I love these lines..

What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do he'll never phone ya.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow.
So, for at least, until tomorrow.
I'll never fall in love again.

"So, for at least, until tomorrow." ...maybe there's hope for me yet hey?

Never ever rely on someone else to do the job!!

2007-04-06T14:49:00.000+10:00

B isn't doing my lawns after all :-S

Bloody men.

Men are only good for two things...

2007-04-04T10:27:00.000+10:00

Whenever any of my girlfriends are having problems with their hubbies there's one thing I always say:

"Men are only good for two things."

Sex and babies? I hear you suggest.

Nope... opening jars, and mowing the lawn.

I have been unable to put garlic in anything for three months because I couldn't get the jar open... same with the ginger.

Finally got them both opened Monday night... B did it for me!

As I mentioned he's going to do my lawns on the weekend.

So I've had my jars opened and my lawns mowed... what more could a girl want?

PS. No they're not a metaphor for anything rude either LOL

The eyes have it...

2007-04-04T10:01:00.000+10:00

First of all, doesn't (didn't) John Belushi of 'Blues Brothers' and 'massive drug overdose' fame have the most amazing eyes. It's a shame they're hidden behind those sunglasses, but then I guess it makes for a bigger impact the one time he does take them off for the Mystery Woman (played by Carrie Fisher). Don't worry sweetie, my heart would have melted too!

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."

mBoi is obsessed by this movie at the moment, I think we've watched it twenty times in the two weeks we've had it on DVD.

I am willing to put aside the occasional bad word (for which they get a beating from 'the penguin' anyway) to see mBoi singing and dancing to some GREAT music, and to see his delight at the 'Illinois Nazis' ending up in the river!

But I digress.

Eyes.

It appears I didn't have 'pinkeye' as this has now been going on for over a month, and my eyes are not stuck together with masses of green pus, nor are they getting worse, or better for that matter. Must be mild allergic conjunctivitis and dry eye, caused by my overgrown lawns setting seed, and aggravated by spending too much time at computer (gets worse at night when I get busy chatting to friends) and having ceiling fans on all the time.

SO now I'm off to the chemist to get some fake tears lubricating stuff to help when they flare up, and trying to be more conscious of the triggers.

Also getting B to do my lawns for me on the weekend.

A night of suprises!

2007-04-03T10:07:00.000+10:00

Well, B came over for dinner last night.

Looking absolutely gorgeous, freshly shaven and even carrying a bottle of wine.

We had a great evening, chatting, laughing, eating my yummy lamb bolognaise, drinking wine.

We talked about the serious stuff too, and it appears we both suffer from the same problem...

We're both hesitant to get 'into' anything. Ultimately for fear of being hurt again, and we're both guilty of putting up a facade to protect ourselves from the outside.

So now I think we're back to where we were before thursday night (and he apologised profusely for being so rude, said he felt sick in the stomach at how he'd treated me) but now are both aware of each other's fears, and taking things very slowly on the 'lovey dovey relationship' side of things.

I really hope we get to know each other well enough to discover whether it's worth letting our guards down.

Unexpected Addition Part 4

2007-04-03T09:59:00.000+10:00

Went to see GP yesterday morning, about contraception, and she's not trained to do IUDs, but sent me in the direction of someone who can, and wont cost a fortune.

Will call and make an appointment today.

Dinner is still on...

2007-04-01T20:54:00.000+10:00

B still coming over for dinner "...so we can chat. Just friends :-)"

Unexpected Addition Part 3

2007-04-01T14:56:00.000+10:00

OK, so I DEFINITELY have to get something sorted out ASAP.

Hardly slept a wink last night due to panic attacks over the mere thought of being pregnant again.

Thank mother nature Aunt Flo arrived dead on schedule this morning. :D

I do feel so silly for letting my anxiety get the better for me. I knew there was no chance of ACTUALLY being pregnant but still I got mysef so worked up about it.

I kept waking up in a panic, hyperventilating and with my heart just about jumping out of my chest. I don't think I've actually had a panic attack before, but I'd say I have now.

It was an experience I never want to deal with again, so off to the doctors I go tomorrow so I've got an extra insurance policy :D

Unexpected addition part 2

2007-03-31T21:33:00.000+10:00

Ok I have been doing some research, and looking into an IUD.

In the meantime, have fingers crossed that she arrives tomorrow as scheduled.

Totally irrational fear, I know...

An unexpected addition...

2007-03-31T14:38:00.000+10:00

Well for the first time in years I've got that awful feeling of "OMG what if 'she' doesn't arrive when she's supposed to?"

You know how when you're a teenager and you do EVERYTHING to avoid getting pregnant, and you somehow believe that even looking at a penis is likely to get you pregnant. And each time you're due you start worrying, and are convinced this is 'it' when it's late.

Then when you WANT to get pregnant you believe it will never happen unless you do it non-stop for those three days mid cycle, and you have stand on your head for half an hour later and won't let any swimmers go to waste.

Anyway, I had that awful feeling hit me today... not that I haven't been using proection, but 'a la teenager', I'm stressing anyway.

So I've decided to bite the bullet and sort out some proper contraception, JUST IN CASE!!!

I don't know what to do. I can't do hormonal methods, as it's only worth using them if I'm going to actually WANT to get jiggy with it. The pill is tantamount to commiting murder... of my libido that is.

But the non hormonal ones are either condoms... which I'd use anyway for obvious reasons, but I don't want to be relying on them 100%... things get caught up in the moment, or carried away...

I'm now thinking something permanent might be the way to go. There is the 'essure' procedure which is non surgical and you can be in and out in less than a hour and back to normal activity almost straight away. It is even available as a public patient at St George hospital. Probably has a decent waiting list though.

But it's scary decision to make... I probaly shouldn't be thinking about this when I'm so bloody emotional. :-S

Dagnabbit, why did he beat me to it??

2007-03-30T14:17:00.000+10:00

Having fairly recently got out of an very unhappy relationship full of letdowns, I am being very cautious withe the L word, and definitely not wanting to get into a proper relationship at the moment.

I had planned on talking to B about this on monday night over dinner, I wanted to make sure we knew where we stood, and that we were both heading in the same direction.

Well, the cheeky bugger has managed to beat me to it hasn't he!!

I got a message today saying he gets the feeling I want more than friendship and he's not after a relationship, sorry if he's given mixed signals, wants to remain friends, and that I deserve to be happy (bloody oath I do!).

It did take me by suprise, I wasn't expecting him to come out with it first.

But once over my initial shock, I replied saying "Thankgod!" and the last I'm wanting is a relationship at the moment, and that I was going to bring it up over dinner Monday night.

...and about the mixed signals. I too was worried about that, but signals do tend to get given out all over the place when you get naked with someone :-O

So at least we're at an understanding now... happy to keep flirting, be good friends, talk at karaoke, save that spot on the dance card, etc. Very much a no strings thing... which suits me perfectly!

Have told him he's still welcome for dinner monday... I'm going to have the kids out of the house anyway, so don't want the night to go to waste.

PMS... it's not just the cranks.

2007-03-29T11:00:00.000+10:00

Now that I am basically in remission with my depression I am finally able to appreciate the ups and downs of PMS.

I have spent most the the week on the verge of tears and being set off my the smallest of things. 'She' is due on sunday!

Yesterday morning I treated myself and mBoi to Maccas for breakfast, and sat reading the newspaper while mBoi was playing. I had to fight back the tears for EVERY story I read!

What a sight I must have looked... not to mention nearly losing it in the supermarket over a can of tuna. Oh, and crying in the car everytime the cervical cancer vaccine ad came on the radio :-O

The first proper 'date' date!

2007-03-29T10:39:00.000+10:00

Last night I took the plunge and invited B over for dinner Monday night, and he accepted :-D

My goodness!

We've had this 'thing' going for about a month... well we've known each other for longer than that, but it's been a month that we've known there was something between us and that the feeling was mutual, but this will be the first time organising something outside Karaoke.

Previously it's been "I'll see you at Karaoke!" and we've gone elsewhere from there, so really it wasn't going to be a big deal if one of us couldn't make it, but this is different. This is the first chance of being 'stood up'.

Trying not to over think this!

Playing 'catch up'

2007-03-27T14:49:00.000+10:00

I have spent the last three weeks trying to play 'catch up' on my sleep.

Having spent sleepless nights and stressful days in hospital with the kids, and Karaoke nights out, and now the end of daylight savings, I'm getting all out of whack.

I'll have a few early nights, and just when I think I've finally caught up something happens and I way behind again. Like the kids refusing to go to sleep at night, or getting up too bloody early in the morning, or getting caught chatting to girlfriends online late at night.

Not to mention lost sleep over my new romance.

Last night I was up chatting online til 2am, then hBoi got up at 5am, so I'm back to feeling like a zombie... AGAIN!

I've found a 'repertoire' song for Karaoke finally!

2007-03-26T20:04:00.000+10:00

Most of the other regulars at the RSL have a handful of regular songs they sing, they rotate through them and soetimes sing new ones, but generally stick to the ones they 'know and trust'.

But me being a typical Aquarian has to do DIFFERENT songs every week... (my greatest fear is being stuck in a rut or being a sheep)

But I have finally found a couple of songs to put in my 'repertoire'.

Number one... "Do that to me one more time" by Captain and Tenille. Apart from being a subtle message to certain someone (haha, I know I'm very wicked!), it suits my voice well, doesn't strain me too much, and is a nice easy relaxed song to kick off with.

Number two... "Thank god I'm a country boy" by John Denver. I sang this last time and it WENT OFF!!! I felt so good singing it, and it got everyone up and dancing, lots of dosie doe-ing hehe!

But next time I'm gonna take a cowboy hat to wear!!

You know you're a Karaoke Diva when you take props to wear when you sing...

Who said clothes don't make the man????

2007-03-26T19:57:00.000+10:00

I just had to say...

OMG B looked so hot this weekend in his black shirt and black pants.

...and from what I've heard I wasn't the only one drooling!

Jumping in at the deep end...

2007-03-26T19:06:00.000+10:00

I have made mention on occassion about the guy from Karaoke... let's call him B.

We've been seeing more than a bit of each other lately.

I'm resisting the urge to gush about him... trying to do the whole "being cautious with the L Word" thing. It's nothing official yet, and I'm still happy doing the casual 'seeing each other' thing for now, but it is exciting none the less!!

The way your heart skips a beat when you first spot them across a crowded Karaoke room, learning lots of stuff about each other, finding all those things in common, gossiping to excited girlfriends afterwards... yes, im talking about YOU Net! Girlfriends living vicariously through my (and each others) love life LOL. To be honest we're almost as bad as the girls from 'Sex and the City', but as I have pointed out before, it's healthy to talk about your sex life. At least that's our excuse, and I'll stick to it!

Back to the subject...

B!!

The young man who caught mine and some of my other girlfriends' eyes before Christmas, even BEFORE I heard him open his mouth and sing, it was a great excuse to go and talk to him though ;) and he does sing absolutely amazingly. Incidentally doing Elvis the way exhub so wishes he could do Elvis.

I'm having to work through my "Elvis vs The Beatles" issues I developed in my teens. That's a very long story, and one I will post about soon. But needless to say currently if I listen to too much Elvis I have to 'cleanse' myself by listening to a good dose of Beatles!!

Also dealing with the issue that B is only a couple of months older than my younger brother, and also happens to be the same star sign as exhub... and the ex before that... Eeek!

Funny thing though... gossiping with my girlfriends... Al had a dream last night that we were all at a wedding, and it was me and B getting married...

Hmm, I think I better leave it at that before I get in any deeper!

A weekend away :-D

2007-03-26T18:57:00.000+10:00

Us girls are planning a weekend away.

You know you're a Karaoke Diva when you plan weekends away around your usual 'gig' so you can go and do MORE Karaoke.

We're going up the coast to see our wonderful Joan and Foster (FJ's our regular Karaoke Jockeys at the RSL) at the venue they do on the off week.

We did consider going up the mountains and spending the weekend sitting round an open fire talking girly stuff, but when we remembered FJ's have a gig up the coast we couldn't resist!

So we're planning a weekend away, plenty of wine (or beer for me), girly talk, Karaoke, NO kids, and NO hubbies or boyfriends. Woohoo!!

I wonder how the men will cope... how many phone calls will there be asking where the baby wipes are? Or how to use the pressure cooker? Or where all the left socks went!

At least I know I won't get those calls!

What would you do if I sang out of tune?

2007-03-19T10:47:00.000+11:00

I've decided, especially as I'm almost too old to qualify for it anyway, that I am gonna go and audition for idol this year!

It's mid May.

I just wanna be able to say I did it, and rub it in exhubs nose who always wanted to audition, but never got off his arse and is now too old. hehe!

I'll probably never even get far enough to front up to the judges and get on camera, cos only the REALLY REALLY bad ones or the really good ones get that far, and I know I ain't that good, and I HOPE I'm not that bad. EEEK!

But that's not the point of doing it...

Like the general idea behind this blog, as they say "It's better to regret something you DID than something you DIDN'T"!

Been a bit busy with other things this week.

2007-03-18T11:43:00.000+11:00

Haven't really had the time to post this week.

We were back at the hospital half of the week, this time with mBoi, after a close encounter with the medicine cabinet.

Thanks god he's OK, back home now, no worse for wear.

I've got a chest thing happening, Al has pneumonia even, so these virus thingies are doing the rounds. I'm gad I don't have the awful snotty nose dripping like a tap thing happening though!

It started with a kiss...

2007-03-12T17:32:00.000+11:00

On Saturday night I finally kissed the guy from Karaoke! Or he kissed me, or we kissed each other... anyway you get the idea.

It's only taken three months *lol*

You know when you're a 'Karaoke Diva' when...

2007-03-11T15:32:00.000+11:00

You hate the day after karaoke because it's the longest time until the next one
You practice the songs you're going to sing before the night
You buy Karaoke DVDs so you can practice even more
You won't sing duets because it means missing out on a solo performance
You secretly HATE the people who can sing really well
You have nightmares about not getting your songs in on time and being unable to sing
You have a sore throat and 'rest' your voice so you can still sing next time

I have been told that I am a VERY sad person... but that's me, I'm a dag, but proud of it!

The words...

2007-03-09T17:57:00.000+11:00

Strokin'

When I start makin´ love
I don´t just make love...
I be strokin´
That´s what I be doin´, huh
I be strokin´

I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best
I be strokin´

Let me ask you somethin´...
What time of the day do you like to make love
Have you ever made love just before breakfast
Have you ever made love while you watched the late, late show
Well, let me ask you this
Have you ever made love on a couch
Well, let me ask you this
Have you ever made love on the back seat of a car
I remember one time I made love on the back seat of a car
And the police came and shined his light on me, and I said:
´I´m strokin´, that´s what I´m doin´, I be strokin´´

I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best
I be strokin´

Let me ask you something...
How long has it been since you made love, huh?
Did you make love yesterday
Did you make love last week
Did you make love last year
Or maybe it might be that you plannin´ on makin´ love tonight
But just remember, when you start making love
You make it hard, long, soft, short
And be strokin´
I be strokin´

I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best, huh
I be strokin´

Now when I start making love to my woman
I don´t stop until I know she´s sas-ified
And I can always tell when she gets sas-ified
´Cause when she gets sas-fied she start calling my name
She´d say: ´Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter
Clarence Carter, ooooh shit, Clarence Carter´
The other night I was strokin´ my woman
And it got so good to her, you know what she told me
Let me tell you what she told me, she said:
´Stroke it Clarence Carter, but don´t stroke so fast
If my stuff ain´t tight enough, you can stick it up my...´ WOO!

I be strokin´ Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
I be strokin´

I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best, huh
I be strokin´
I be strokin´ Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
I be strokin´, Yeah!
I be strokin´

I stroke it to the north
I stroke it to the south
I stroke it everywhere
I even stroke it with my... WOO!

I be strokin´
I be strokin´ Ha! Ha!
I be strokin

My karaoke goal...

2007-03-09T17:52:00.000+11:00

I'm sure you know I am a karaoke addict...

I've even got to the point of buying karaoke DVDs so I can practice my songs before hand.

So now that I've crossed "Sing in public" off my list, I've decided to push myself further.

I want to sing "Strokin'" by Clarence Carter. Put it this way... it's a VERY risque song, but I want to have the guts to sing it one day.

Things I can UNHAPPILY cross of my list...

2007-03-09T11:39:00.000+11:00

Sleep in the fold out parent's bed in the children's ward of the hospital

hBoi was admitted to hospital on Tuesday, with gastro and dehydration, because he wasn't keeping anything down, so was put on a drip. We waited the obligatory eight or nine hours in the Emergancy Department before finally being moved up to the children's ward. Then mBoi and Daddy came to visit... at which point, mBoi promptly vomited all over the hospital's nice clean floor. As they say... "When in Rome."

So I stayed in the ward with hBoi overnight, while Daddy took mBoi home to bed, and when he woke up he was back to his chirpy self, it was like this switch went off for 24 hours that turned him into a catatonic vomit machine, then all of a sudden he was back to being himself, and right as rain.

Lock self out of house

On the weekend I managed to lock my keys in the house... I even checked my big key chain and swore they were there before shutting the door though. Needless to say I'm glad I have a rental, as I was able to zip down to the agent and borrow their spare keys, also did a swapperoonie with window keys so I'm now able to open ALL my windows... YAY fresh air!!!

Get Pinkeye

Yup... all I can hear in my head is Eric Cartman from 'South Park' saying "PINKEYE!" I have antibiotic drops but it's not helping, so just have to wait it out. Thank god I don't have any of that green oozy pus, just very red itchy eyes. No eye make-up for me on Saturday night then.

Facing fears head on...

2007-03-05T11:55:00.000+11:00

I have mentioned my social anxiety thing before.

And that I want to conquer it by throwing the Biggest 30th Birthday Bash ever.

Well I have seriously lost the plot. I just put in an application for one of those reality show things.

Although I love to sing, I would never audition for Idol, and I don't think I'd come out of my shell enough to go on Big Brother... plus I have too many skeletons in my closet that would come out to haunt me if I went on national TV.

But I guess this one is different. This is RADIO... less make-up required. Which anyone with kids will know is a bonus! And no-one will notice that I'm in desperate need of a hair cut. Nor will they notice the sweaty palms or the smeared banana or weebix from the kids' breakfast on my un-ironed clothes.

Yep, I think I could possibly consider being interested in vaguely coping with radio. (I sound like Marge Simpson deciding what franchise to invest in... Was it pretzels she decided on in the end?)

Hmm... These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Yep, even as I type this I am shaking like a leaf, but as I said in my application for The Casting Room I am taking my life by the horns!

There's a hell of a lotta bullshit you gotta wade through but... [insert witty line relating life to bullfighting here]

You get the idea anyway!

It's Greased Lightning!!

2007-03-05T10:25:00.000+11:00

Well, I am speechless.

In Sydney we had THE most amazing electrical storm I have ever seen.

Apparently at the height of the storm, between 10:30 and 11pm there were up to 65 strikes a minute. That's SIXTY FIVE lightning strikes that actually hit the ground, more than one a second.

I sat huddled on my dining room floor so I could watch it to the north but not be too close to the window. It was the most amazing thing I have EVER seen.

And judging by some of the photos taken over the actual city it looks like us 'westies' missed out on a lot of the action. There are a few images of the harbour bridge and the sydney sky tower being hit.

Photo from Sydney Morning Herald by Joe Stammers

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/03/05/1172943283414.html

Shopaholic's Logic.

2007-03-02T20:56:00.000+11:00

I am THE best bargain hunter there is.

I have this knack for finding the perfect thing in end of season sales marked down so they are practically giving them away.

Similar things happen when I do grocery shopping... for some reason everything on my shopping list will be on special the week I need to buy it!

I have been on a fairly strict budget since moving four months ago, but upon the arrival of my first electricity bill, being less than half what I expected, and having somehow saved DOUBLE what I'd expected, I had a bit of a windfall. And have been treating myself a fair bit over the last few weeks.

Went shopping again today and bought $180 worth of clothes and shoes.

Before you think I'm going to be living on potatoes for the next two months, let me tell the whole story.

Dress #1, from Target.
Similar style to 'the' dress Marilyn Monroe wears in the subway vent scene, but black.
Originally $60... I got it for $12!

Shoes, from Target.
Having no fancy, dark coloured shoes to wear with my new little black dress I checked out the shoes, gasping in horror at the current styles, with five inch stiletto heels and eight inch pointy toes all with pricetags to match, I managed to find a cute pair of 'slides' with sensible heels and pricetag to match of course.
Originally $30... going for $13!

Dress #2, from Myer.
I generally avoid Myer, for the obvious reason that you are paying (usually through the nose) for the BRAND NAMES, but it being that summer-autumn fashion season change they had lots of already reduced summer stock marked down a further 50%. I found the CUTEST little white 50s style strapless dress (it even has the 'boning' in the bodice) and HAD to get it.
Originally $90... bought for $30!

Two dresses and a pair of shoes originally $180 in total and I got the lot for $55.

Not a bad day's bargain hunting if I say so myself.

Now for the Shopaholic's Logic... If I got $180 worth of stuff and paid $55, that means I saved $125... do I get to go and spend that $125 on more stuff??

Maria, I just met a girl named Maria...

2007-03-01T22:14:00.000+11:00

I am currently watching West Side Story.

Another addition to my DVD collection.

Budgies!

2007-03-01T22:04:00.000+11:00

I have started researching where I can go to see budgerigars in the wild.

Apparently it's amazing to see.

Fingers crossed I'll find the right tme and place. They move seasonally so it's one of thsoe things where you have to find a flock. It's not just a case of finding the right habitat and sitting and waiting, you have to find a whole flock... hundreds of birds in a green, rolling, swirling, barrelling cloud.

I will find out when they are likely to move further east, so I don't have to travel right inland.

Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans...

2007-03-01T21:52:00.000+11:00

SO I have started making plans for my BIG 30th Birthday Bash.

Have decided on my theme... but I'm not going to spill the beans just yet.

Of course I will be doing karaoke for those who want to, will probably hire one of those special machines. I can guarantee there'll be lots of singing and dancing. :D

Must start saving my bickies, I guess!

PS. and for those of you who come to karaoke I'm planning the party for the off week, so we don't miss out LOL.

The Master List #2

2007-02-26T13:24:00.000+11:00

I can't believe my blog is a month old... and I'm still posting regularly!

Here is an updated list:

Go Skiing*
Climb Mt Kosciuszko
Get fitter (in preparation for Mt Kosci climb)
Sing in public (Done at karaoke, actually on a fortnightly basis now.. I'm hooked)
Get some singing lessons
Bathe on a nude beach
Get my hair dyed a crazy colour (been there done that)
See budgerigars in the wild (either that or a wompoo fruit dove... long story!)
Create a work of art (doing lots of that and loving it)
Write a novel (or at least a short one LOL) get past the first chapter...
Go to dancing classes
See Thelma and Louise
Throw a BIG Birthday Bash

*Swapping for Climb Mt Kosciuszko

Gonna get physical again...

2007-02-26T12:54:00.000+11:00

I'm going to the gym again tonight.

I hope I don't end up in too much pain!

Sunday Movie Matinee...

2007-02-26T11:58:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I went to the movies... with a guy. He won two for the price of one from Jenny Craig, to see 'Miss Potter' starring Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor (yummy!) the biographical film about the life of Beatrix Potter, who wrote and illustrated the best selling childrens books of all time.

I grew up with Peter Rabbit, Mrs Tiggywinkle, Jemima Puddle Duck and more.

I even visited 'Hill Top Farm' in the British 'Lake District' when I was little. Too little to remember, but the way it was all portrayed in the film was very sentimental.

The movie also showed how Miss Potter's 'friends' were as real as you and I to her. With vry subtle animation of her illustrations oming to life, with a wink from Peter Rabbit, and Jemima Puddle Duck flirting with Mr Warne (her publisher who she planned to marry).

Emily Watson was perfect as Mr Warne's sister Millie, who decided she must be friends with Beatrix as a fellow 'single woman and proud of it' in the pre-suffrage days of the early 1900s.

It was a trully charming movie, one you might need tissues for, particularly if, like me, you were familiar with the books as a child.

Visit http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0482546/ for more details :D

Oh what a night...

2007-02-25T12:34:00.000+11:00

SO last night was my little 29th birthday party.

It trully was the BEST birthday party I've ever had.

I had all my friends around me and no 'non-friends' ... with the exception of K who is verging on childbirth so was excused from the debauchery that is Saturday Night Karaoke!

I wore my cute little dress from last fortnight. Might as well dress for the occassion, and show of my two best assets in the process. (NB. one of my friend's hubbies has nicknamed me legs... the poor girl is mortfied by his behaviour!)

And we had so many lollies, I even ventured around the room and offered them to all the other regulars.

I also think I drank a little too much, I bought the first round of drinks when there were only three of us, and the rest of the night as soon as my glass was emptied another appeared, one of the other regulars bought us a bottle of champagne, which I thought was so sweet.

Of course everyone sang happy birthday to me (would you expect anything less at karaoke?) and I didn't die of embarrasment.

I got asked for my phone number too. This is the second guy I danced with last time (to Micheal Buble 'Sway'), and we've had our eyes on each other for a while I think, since before Xmas. Can you believe I refused!!! I think we agreed we were happy just flirting and having fun at karaoke, and we know we'll see each other next fortnight.

PLUS, our Karaoke night is our 'girls night out', and it would get wierd if boys became involved, particularly if it didn't work out.

So for now we've saved a permanent spot on each other's dance card and I'm happy with that.

Oh and HUGE hugs to Al, who had an accident and got carted off in an ambulance. The poor thing stumbled and twisted her ankle and injured her knee. I think it was embarrassment mainly, of having the ambo's come into the club and cart her off in the trolley/gurney.

Feeling a little hungover, a little worse the wear from no sleep, too many lollies and too much beer!

But all up a great night.

It's getting closer!

2007-02-23T21:23:00.000+11:00

Not long until my Party.

Have spent the whole week being 'social butterfly' and as a result am absolutely knackered, buggered, bollocksed (is that a real word?). But it beats sitting at home feeling sorry for myself, while the kids tear my house apart.

Today we bought party stuff.

Party hats, steamers etc etc etc.

...and did more thinking about what we would wear/sing. (both having equal importance of course)

I had breakfast with a friend. We had 'evil gossip' over 'even MORE evil Macca's Hotcakes', then did our bits and pieces of shopping.

Then I came home and got asked back out for coffee with another friend, so back onto the plaza we went.

At least Fridays are easier to do all this galavanting as I only have almost 2yo hBoi with me, while mBoi is at preschool.

You know you're a slave to karaoke when..

2007-02-23T10:17:00.000+11:00

When you spend the days between 'gigs' practicing the songs you'll sing!

I spent way too much time practicing my songs, learning new ones.

I've even stooped so low as to buy a KID'S Karaoke disc full of nursery rhymes, so 3.5yo mBoi can play karaoke just like mummy does. How sad!

Last night I packed up all my 'equipment' including $60 DVD player with karaoke 'function' (it's just got microphone jacks at the back) and headed to a friend's place so we could spend the evening practicing.

This is all in preparation for my B-Day party Saturday night.

Another clarification...

2007-02-20T21:08:00.000+11:00

For those who may not know, an ellipsis is one of ... those.

I have writer's block!

2007-02-20T20:52:00.000+11:00

Yes, I am stuck...

Everytime I try to think of something interesting to write about, all I get is 'Don't go breaking my heart' by Elton John and Kiki Dee running through my head!! And YES, that did need a double exclamation point.

I have the dreaded 'song lurgy'. You know, until recently, I thought that was the real term for getting a (usually annoying) song stuck in your head, but it seems it is a fabrication by my father. Poor miguided fool, I was!

This will have to do for today, unless you want to catch my song lurgy.

But I did manage to get through a whole post without using an ellipsis!

hehe...

I sang it today!

2007-02-19T20:01:00.000+11:00

I dropped in on one of my girlfriends who I go to Karaoke with, and we had a bit of a practice.

I sang 'Physical'!!

As I write this she'll be doing the same aerobics class I did with her last week. 'Body Bar'... no, you don't get to stuff your body with bars of chocolate, ooh I wish... it's weight training done to music, like you do with aerobics.

I'm missing the class, two small boys need watching instead. Fingers crossed I can sort out baby sitting for another time.

My friend said I should do the class because the (male) instructor is cute. Funny how when you're single your girlfriends always keep an eye out for you, actually I think it's a clever excuse!!

Let's get physical...

2007-02-17T11:27:00.000+11:00

In the words of Olivia Newton-John: "Let me hear your body talk... your body talk."

And after my work out at the gym with a friend last week, my body DID talk... It said, "OUCH, don't ever do that again!"

But I have come to the realisation that I must get fit... that I must increase my core strength and stamina so I can do this Kosciuszko climb and live to walk another day.

So over the coming months I have to get into some sort of fitness routine, so I can power up that mountain and still have enough energy to go partying afterwards. It will be worth celebrating, and I don't wish to end up cripple-like, stiff and sore, for the following month.

It's been a while since I did any real exercise, other than dancing all night, so I have to start small and work my way up. I might even join a gym for the last couple of months!

To err is human...

2007-02-16T20:30:00.000+11:00

And to make typographical errors is... something... like... that... as well.

I'm a bit of a stickler for spelling, punctuation and grammar.

But typos are another thing, and bound to happen when you don't know how to touch type, but your fingers fly over the keyboard at 80 wpm anyway.

Incidentally, what is a grammatical error called anyway? If a typographical error is shortened to 'typo', is a grammatical error called a 'grammo'? Is spelling 'spello'?

Notice my lovely punctuation?

I frequent a number of online forums and the worst thing is dealing with people who neglect all the above.

Like this...

to err is human and 2 make typographical errors is something like that as well im a bit of a stickler for spelling punctuation and grammer but typoes are another thing and bound to hapen when u dont no how to touch type but ur fingers fly over the keybored at 80 wpm NEway incidently what is a gramatical error called anyway if a typographical error is shortened to typo is a gramatical error called a grammo is spelling spello notice my lovly punctuation i freaquent a number of online forums and the wurst thing is dealing with peopel who neglect all the above like this

These posts are usually full of emotive language, generally the poster is quite fired up about something, but one is unable to read the whole story, let alone understand it enough to offer any decent advice because we've given up after the first couple of lines.

I believe decent grammar and punctuation are essential tools to convey our message, and although I'll admit to an over use of the ellipsis, I think I do a pretty good job.

I will apologise in advance for any typos that fall through the cracks, and one by one I will correct them... in the meantime... bollocks to the lot of you! Hee hee, that includes you Dad!

Personality and numbers...

2007-02-15T14:49:00.000+11:00

This is worked out from your full name only... and it's me to a tee, rather freaky is you ask me!

Your Expression Number is 5

A total multi-tasker, you have a wide variety of talents.
You're very versatile and able to change at a drop of a hat.
A free spirit, you crave change and adventure.

Clever and quick witted, you can convince anyone of anything.
You can do anything you desire... though this sometimes gets you in trouble!
Very popular, you're always thinking up new ways to entertain and amuse your friends.

Your restless and impatient attitude means you don't stay with projects for long.
You tend to be erratic and scattered - it's hard for you to focus.
You often find yourself in a state of flux with constantly changing interests.

What's Your Expression Number?

Saturday night at the movies...

2007-02-15T14:08:00.000+11:00

Thelma and Louise has started me on a movie 'thing'.

I have no decent TV reception at my place... the railway line that our place backs onto interferes with it. So rather than spending a fortune on pay TV for 87 channels of crap repeated ad-nauseum, I spend movey on DVDs instead.

The other day I bought some of those 'must see, culturally significant, or at least rather interesting and unique' movies.

Love Story
The Towering Inferno (The Poseidon Adventure is next on my 'must buy' list)
Annie Hall (Woody Allen's first 'big' movie)
Full Metal Jacket (aren't ALL Kubrick movies?)
How I Won the War (the movie John Lennon did)
Forrest Gump (Life is like a box of chocolates, but do I have to eat the whole box EVERY DAY?)
Little Shop of Horrors (starring Rick Moranis... My high school did this musical one year)

A couple of weeks ago I bought:

Paint Your Wagon (the western MUSICAL starring Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood)
Dirty Dancing (a high school girls sleepover staple)

Hoping to get 'Grease' soon.

I'm also working on The Simpsons collection.

I saw it, I saw it, I saw it!

2007-02-12T21:22:00.000+11:00

OK, well I couldn't wait until I can organise a chick flick night, so this afteroon I went ahead and watched Thelma and Louise.

FINALLY!!

SO I can proudly cross that one off my list.... and for Real Mums.

Yes, I cried at the end. As any self respecting human being should.

Freedom.

Oh, to be young and stupid again!

2007-02-10T13:53:00.000+11:00

Well my birthday night out at the nightclub was a real eye opener.

Not in terms of what nightclubs are like... I went to my fair share in my day, but it was a stark reminder of just HOW stupid I was in my 'young and stupid' days. And a good reminder never go pine over my lost youth.

As they say... "Youth is wasted on the young."

I didn't realise that there were so many young men who think it's impressive to use bad language and wave their 'groinal' area at women. I think 'disgraceful' is the word I would use.

Not to mention having to wait ten minutes for a drink! HA... you don't have to do that at Saturday night Karaoke! Nor do you have to worry about having your drink spiked... no leaving your drink unattended at the nightclub, that's for sure.

But we did do lots of dancing... and my B'Day Buddy Al, gosh she's got some moves! Actually I think we were all rather stunning out on the dance floor, doing a bit of bump and grind to the lastest techno and R&B beats. Funny thing though, the 70s Disco stuff always cleared the dance floor... am I that out of touch?? We thought it was cool anyway, gave us more room to do the John Travolta dance moves!

So at the end of the night we left, relieved that we were no longer 'young and stupid 18 year olds', and proud to be 'sensible almost 30 year olds' (sensible in comparison to stupid 18 year olds that is) although feeling a little worse for wear the next day. That's old age creeping up... next it'll be wrinkles, and walking frames. hehe.

Happy Burpday to Me!

2007-02-09T19:55:00.000+11:00

I'm all dolled up ready to hit the town!

I even made myself new earrings, necklace and bracelet for the occassion. It turns out I'm not the only one worried about the age of the crowd, will it be 18 year olds, who look like they're barely out of kindergarten, or oldies more akin to the RSL.

Either way we're all terribly excited. This is our first Friday night venture, and we spent the day out shopping for new clothes to wear. How girly!

The boys are off with their dad for the next FOUR nights, so I can put aside some time for beading and painting, and getting my housework done.

Oh, and one more thing... I bought 'Thelma & Louise' on DVD today too. Must organise that girls movie night!

One sleep until the not so big 'two nine'

2007-02-08T21:41:00.000+11:00

Well, it's my 29th birthday tomorrow.

I'm going shopping again, with another friend this time, then out on the town... certain friend also wouldn't let me (and another friend who's birthday is today) get away without a little celebration.

SO we're going to hit a nightclub. I have a feeling it might all be a bit much for us 'oldies' I haven't been to a nightclub since my early early twenties. All those 18 year olds look like babies to me. How did they get to be of legal age??

I have already opened my birthday pressies from my family up north:

Gloria Jeans vouchers and a big shiny Fifty Dollar Note from my folks... and a wad of instant scratchies from my little brother (who IS taller than me now) I won $38... incidentally, the exact amount I spent on beads for jewellery making yesterday!

I have also been assured that the boys will be getting something for their Mummy. I said Mummy would be happy with some cash for a night out... don't know whether the message will get through though... a couple of years ago, while I was eight months pregant and had just started my anti-depressant medication, I got a first aid kit for my birthday!

I managed at least EIGHT people!

2007-02-07T16:51:00.000+11:00

I went out for lunch at the local shopping centre, meeting up with a few people from my online Mother's Group, there were at least eight other mums with kids there, and I coped.

The BIG Bash

2007-02-06T10:38:00.000+11:00

I suffer from mild social anxiety in certain situations, something that was always there, only now I am more aware of its existence.

Long story short, I don't do well at big parties. I have missed a few great events with friends because of it, but I want to work through it.

The big 'test', I have decided, will be my BIG 30th Birthday Bash.

I know I can plan an event like this, but getting through it without ending up in the foetal position mere seconds before leaving the house will be my challenge.

"Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean... serenity now, SERENITY NOW!!"

Five sleeps... and PMS!

2007-02-04T21:56:00.000+11:00

Only five sleeps until my 29th birthday.

Some days I feel like a ninety year old, others like I have a six year old trying to get out, I guess the thing is trying to let the right one win at the right time.

One thing I can say with certainty as I have aged, particularly after giving birth to two children, is that I now believe in PMS... can I blame it for ALL my grumpiness though?

Last night it hit me like a ton of bricks. Night sweats, dehydration, aching back, sore neck, odd abdominal cramps, splitting headache. I wondered whether I'd taken the wrong pills or something. I spent nearly the whole day in bed today. Then after lunch 'she' arrived and all was explained.

I'd say "Roll on menopause", but I know that ain't no walk in the park either.

Off to find my hot water bottle and crawl back into bed. Going shopping with a girlfriend tomorrow, so that will help!

Long hair, short hair, gleaming, flaxen, waxen...

2007-02-02T20:55:00.000+11:00

I hope those are the right words, if I am wrong, I might feel like changing them...

Like my hairstyle, hair colour, hair length, the way it parts etcetera etcetera.

In typical Aquarian fashion I am unable to stick with something for longer than three months at a time. While growing up as a child I used to re-organise the furniture layout in my room on a quarterly basis, until once when I got it just right (about two years before I moved out of home) and my walls were covered in pictures of The Beatles and Paul McCartney (another story entirely).

I also did similar things to my hair. As I got older and the control of things in my life were gradually handed over from parent to child I went crazy with each and every one of them.

When I first left school I cut my hair short (and I mean SHORT short) and bleached it, then proceeded to dye it various colours within the brown, red and orange spectrum. I stopped short of blue and green though.

For a while I even buzz cut it to a number five all over... such a pretty young thing I was!

Eventually I forgot what my natural colour was, and after kids and not having the time or inclination to deal with regrowth I decided to let it grow out... I returned to my roots ie. my natural colour.

After all that time, in the same fashion as the rest of my family I had lost the pale creamy blonde of my childhood and ended up with a dark brown (my father) with reddish 'mahogany' tinges (from my grandpops apparently) in some areas and ash blonde (my mother) in others.

I often have people ask me if I've just coloured my hair or had streaks done. Just think of all the money I could have saved on hair dyes over the years!

Please note, that I will NOT be dying my hair blue OR green any time soon, I happen to believe blue and/or green hair should be saved for either halloween, footy season, or a rock concert, and as I don't get involved in any of those my hair will stay the way nature intended.

I have started something...

2007-02-01T16:59:00.000+11:00

Well, I have become an inspiration to people!

A few people I know have started thinking about what they would put on their "before I'm 30" lists. Some are weeks away, others are well and trully over 30, but that's not the point.

You see, it's not about getting all this stuff done before you turn a certain age, in fact it's not even about actually DOING these things, but thinking about what makes up 'you' in the past, present and future.

By putting these things down on paper we can see some of the amazing things we've accomplished in our lives, even though we feel like we are average, and have led average lives.

You have to realise that what is mundane to one, is a leap outside the comfort zone for another.

While I climb Mt Kosciuszko, you might go on an expedition to the south pole.

While I go bathing at the local nude beach, you might step out in a bathing suit for the first time since having kids.

It's also taking stock of those things you've WANTED to do for years but procrastination and other commitments got in the way, and getting motivated to do some of them so that your last words aren't "I just wish I'd [insert adventure here]."

One step, two step...

2007-01-31T22:52:00.000+11:00

OK, I am now one step closer to starting dance classes!

In a few weeks I'm going to a SALSA party, and will probably join up to classes on the night.

To get myself inspired I watched 'Dirty Dancing' this evening. I cannot believe it was considered plausible that the character of 'Baby' was only 17. In reality, when I was seventeen, the thought of any guy getting his hands all over me would have been repulsive.

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

My heart still skips a beat when they pull off that lift though...

A clarification...

2007-01-29T12:56:00.001+11:00

That's Chased, not Chaste.

Things that will NOT be on my list

2007-01-29T12:35:00.000+11:00

Now I've mentioned Thelma and Louise, how many of you have seen 'My Best Friend's Wedding'?

For those of you who haven't the basic premise is of the almost thirty year old friends (and often MORE than friends) having made a pact that if neither were married by the time they turned thirty then they would tie the knot with each other.

Not quite sure why, maybe to avoid the awful situations poor Bridget (Jones, with the diary) ends up in. "How's your love life Bridge??" To satisfy societies obsession with finding 'the one' and not dying alone being half eaten by Alsatians maybe? (That's a German Shepherd BTW)

Ok, I'll admit I would like to find 'the one' (and on the odd occassion have been convinced I had found him) but by no means believe in a 'use by date' at which point I become an old spinster never to find love again. Cobwebs? I don't think so!!

I happen to find love exciting and full of possibilities, and I have at least one person in mind at the moment thankyou very much ;) you know who you are.

But I would never subject myself to the embarrasment and downright desparateness of things like "Yasmine's Getting Married" or poor Julia Robert's character chasing after the groom to be.

As her gay friend played by Rupert Everett asks "Who's chasing you? No-one, get it!"

I'd like to be chased thanks.

Something about Thelma and Louise

2007-01-29T12:08:00.000+11:00

EVERY woman over the age of 18 has seen Thelma and Louise right?

WRONG!

You'd be suprised just how many haven't seen it, and I'm one of them.

This has been put to me (and other women) on Real Mums as a part of their YOU Challenge, so I am currently trying to track down a copy of said movie and a few girlfriends for company and watch the whole thing from start to finish! Even if for no other reason than to perve on the VERY young Brad Pitt in his 'breathrough' role ;)

So I am hereby adding "See Thelma and Louise" to the Master List

When I was 17...

2007-01-28T20:29:00.000+11:00

Actually, when I was 19, or ten years ago.

I'll throw some of these in from time to time... I'm addicted to these things!

You've Changed 64% in 10 Years

Compared to who you were ten years ago, you've changed a great deal.
In fact, you're probably in a completely different phase of your life - and very happy about it!

How Much Have You Changed in 10 Years?

Food for thought...

The hills are alive...

2007-01-28T14:15:00.000+11:00

I have decided to add "Climb Mt Kosciuszko" to my list.

I figure I'm never going to make it to Mt Everest, and I'm too chicken to climb the sydney harbour bridge, so Mt Kosciuszko it is!

There's a circuit (22km total) that runs from Charlotte's Pass (named after the first woman to climb it) to the summit and back, over the Snowy river, past lakes and heath and all sorts...

Alpine area: Main Range Track - Charlotte's Pass to Mount Kosciuszko
12.5 km, 4.5 hours, difficult

After crossing the Snowy River below Charlotte's Pass, the track climbs through alpine herbfields past Hedley Tarn Lookout to Blue Lake Lookout. It then climbs Carruther's Peak which provides spectacular views to the west. It continues along the exposed ridge of the Main Range above Club Lake and Lake Albina until it meets the Summit Walk between Rawson's Pass and Mount Kosciuszko. Turn right to climb Kosciuszko before returning via the old road to Charlotte's Pass.

Alpine area: Summit Walk - Charlotte's Pass to Mount Kosciuszko
9 km, 3.5 hours, difficult

This walk follows the old road to Mount Kosciuszko. In 1976 the NPWS closed the road to public vehicles at Charlotte's Pass because of safety concerns, environmental problems and lack of parking. The walk passes through snow gums, heath and herbfields and provides extensive views of the Main Range and Snowy River. After crossing the Snowy River the track climbs gradually to Seaman's Hut, Rawson's Pass and Mount Kosciuszko's summit.

from the NSW National Parks and Wildlife Service website

Thinking about doing this actually made me cry... I guess the thought of being at the top of Australia, and all that symbolic stuff.

Will either do this before May, or after September... for obvious reasons you don't climb in winter unless you're totally nuts. Anyone wanna join me??

I'd swap this one for skiing any day!!

Everyone has their 15 minutes of fame...

2007-01-28T11:14:00.000+11:00

Although some people get more than they should.

No, I'm not going to talk about Paris Hilton, but Karaoke!!

I was never a good public speaker, I was one of those who would rather die than have to give an oral book report in Yr9 english. My hands would go sweaty, and all of a sudden my speech would come out like I was calling the melbourne cup... NOT good at all, and usually a C-minus average!

One thing I could do was music. I could get up and perform a solo or whatever was called for... I was stil nervous as all hell, but I was protected by my instrument, whether it be flute, xylophone or timpani. Yes, I did go to band camp, but no we never did any of that american pie stuff! "This one time, at band camp..."

More recently I have started going out with 'the girls', and we do karaoke.

And I hate to admit it, but I'm hooked.

Many people say they become a totally different person on stage (yes the one we go to has the stage and bright lights and everything) and are actually quite shy otherwise. NOT ME... I'm shaking, my heart's about to jump out of my chest and I hit a point in the song where I can't for the life of me remember how the tune goes... and the audience pipes up and sings it for me.

THAT is why I love this Karaoke thing. There it doesn't matter how tone deaf you are... people forgive you and sing along anyway. I don't THINK I'm tone deaf, otherwise all that classical music training from the age of seven fell on deaf ears (excuse the pun!).

Take Elvis for example...

There's this old guy, sideburns, brylcreemed quiff, polyster shirt with the wide collar, and all the dance moves... I love-ah my baby... now everyone gets up and dances along with him. We ignore the fact that he has no idea of the tune, or the fact that he's screaming through all the songs.

Last year at the final one before Xmas we had a VERY special guest... he came dressed in the vegas jumpsuit and everything...

"Ladies and Gentlemen... Elvis has left the building!"

There's also the guy who sings the same songs in the same monotone fashion every week... I actually commented that he seemed to be getting better!

So there's this real community feel to the whole place, it doesn't matter how well you can sing, and yes there are those that have amazing voices (damn them all!!) but none of it matters because when you're up on that stage everyone is behind you, and you ALWAYS get a huge round of applause and hooting and hollering.

I discovered something else last night... it's virtualy impossible for two girls to slow dance together. Neither of us knew who was supposed to be leading, who was 'the man', but we just about split our sides laughing.

I slow danced with a couple of the guys... one who was so nervous he couldn't even put his hand on my waist... poor thing. The other was much closer to the mark... 'Sway' anyone???

I must add dancing lessons to my list!!!

About My Painting...

2007-01-27T15:39:00.000+11:00

I was always an artistic person, my favourite subjects long with science and english were art and music. I never liked any of the theory stuff... who painted when when and what genre so and so belonged to... pah, no thanks.

But I revelled in being able to paint and draw freely... NO RULES!!

Except for the rule of thirds and something about perspective and colour mixing... you can't change the way colours mix...

I did year 12 art, but failed because I couldn't be arsed doing all that theory stuff... same thing with music. Actually it was the same with ALL my subjects... I didnt like homework!!

After the birth of my babies I became very depressed. I was in and out of that dark place for about four years, including through both of my pregnancies.

It all culminated in a five week stay at the loony bin. Well it wasn't ACTUALLY the loony bin but we used to joke about it, it was our way of making light of the situation... actually not very funny at all when I think of it...

I'd been there a few days when I was introduced to "The Craft Room"

The craft room had a personality all its own... it was wall to wall art, little scribbled pictures and paintings crammed the walls, sculptures filled every bit of shelf space and more, the tables in the middle of the room were covred in decades of paint splatter and glue, and glitter and clay and whetever else you could think of.

The paint table had HUGE bottles of every colour under the sun, it was like a rainbow, and the pot of gold at the end, wasn't filled with gold, but paintbrushes of every size and shape imaginable. Some worn down to the point of having only one or two bristles left.

Around the room scurried the other patients, going about their craft activities... It was like we stepped in that room and became our own person again. No longer kept within schedules or therapy classes. We were like little mice. Occassionally the conversation would stop entirely and all you could hear was the tap tap tap of one person, the scratch scratch scratch of someone sketching, almost in a zen like state.

It was there that I rediscovered the art of... well... ART!!!

I would walk in and head straight for the paint table, and think about what colours I felt like painting... Blue... red and brown... green...

I would set myself up with my colours, canvas and brushes, and paint whatever came out at the time. It just happened that other people liked what I painted, I gave paintings away, people would fall in love with one and it was theirs. I gave my first painting to the ward I stayed in, ST Josephs. I even had some artworks in the small exhibition they hold for Long Tan day (for the vietnam vets).

Shortly after my return home, I headed down to the big Art shop near me and bought up BIG TIME... Now I buy one colour at a time, increasing my 'pallette' bit by bit.

I find whenever I get stressed, when everything starts getting to me just a bit too much, that painting brings me back down to earth, it calms my nerves... So much so that one particular work that started on a VERY agintated day in RED and BLACK, ended up soft tones of pink with an apparition of an angel or something in the middle by the time I'd finished.

Yes, art does soothe the soul!

The Master List #1

2007-01-27T14:53:00.000+11:00

Go Skiing
Sing in public (Done at karaoke, actually on a fortnightly basis now.. I'm hooked)
Get some singing lessons
Bathe on a nude beach
Get my hair dyed a crazy colour (been there done that)
See budgerigars in the wild (either that or a wompoo fruit dove... long story!)
Create a work of art (doing lots of that and loving it)
Write a novel (or at least a short one LOL) get past the first chapter...

THE List

2007-01-27T14:42:00.000+11:00

In less than two weeks I turn 29...

that means only 365 days till I turn 30.

I was thinking maybe I should do one of those lists, of the things I want to do before I turn 30, had anyone else done one of those??

I thought it might be fun for me to post my list here and check them off one by one and reflect a bit on them... I decided it would be good to start a blog.

I feel I'm more equipped than ever to do these things, I've just come out of a deep depression, and have rediscovered ME, I also get lots of 100% child free time, so am able to do things without dragging kids and all their paraphernalia with me.

OK, I'll start off with a few things and add and subtract along the way...

I'll probably have some things on my list that I've already done. After all, considering 'Have children' would be on that list, I'm NOT going to do it all again just for the sake of it!!